Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
