party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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