he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize