kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize