We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
