You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
