I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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