I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
