If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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