I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorry my hands just texted you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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