JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
