Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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