I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
