In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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