im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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