we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
