pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
