Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
