An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
