Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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