dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
