It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
