I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
