I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
