So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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