Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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