I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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