I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
