i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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