Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize