I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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