if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In other news, I just burned my penis
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
