the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
