you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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