I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
