ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey

  Fav 15 2146 793

  share tweet
  

• (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

  Fav 15 8248 1440

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

  Fav 35 1230 3801

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

  Fav 26 4661 1586

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.

  Fav 24 4436 935

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it

  Fav 13 4723 1456

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

  Fav 12 621 1211

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

  Fav 2 1348 610

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.

  Fav 3 627 1083

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

  Fav 11 940 590

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.

  Fav 2 978 563

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?

  Fav 2 941 658

  share tweet
  

• (288): View more from

  How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."

  Fav 2 46 79

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?

  Fav 1 60 25

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.

  Fav 0 21 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize