I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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