my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
