"it" just moved
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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