I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
