I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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