what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
