Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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