Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
