Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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