I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
