I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
