Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
