I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
