Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
