So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize