is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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