I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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