I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
