Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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