Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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