What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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