I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
