man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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