I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
