Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
