I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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