i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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